Relay issues on the Alfa Romeo GTV

So what exactly is a relay? Take your time.

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I know precisely (and I've measured using scientifically calibrated micro-calipers) diddly-squat about cars. However, I'm also a skinflint. So when something bad happens to a car of mine, the skinflint genes easily overpower the diddly-squat no-nothing repressions and force me to try the best I can to find a solution before I spent hundreds of dollars getting it towed somewhere, thousands of dollars getting it repaired, and hundreds more dollars on booze to help ease the pain of all those hundreds and thousands of dollars I so recently spent on repairs.

That leads me to my story.

In a previous blog post, posted nearly a year ago, I spoke glowingly of my fabulous new used acquisition, a gorgeous 1998 (or possibly 1997 - I'm a little confused about that) Alfa Romeo GTV 3.0 V6 24V. I was deeply, eternally, irrevocably in love with the spirited little beast.

Then I let the spirited little beast sit around undriven for oh, about 4-5 weeks, during which time the various blinking lights and alarm system gizmos wired into the chassis merrily gnawed away at the battery until (sob!) there was nothing left. So much for love.

Ho, hum.

I managed after a few tries with various different chargers to get some juice flowing in her veins again. By now it was nearly winter. My plan was to hop in, pull the car out of the little vinyl garage I'd built around her, plop on some winter tires, and be ready to brave Sweden's worst with a grim but inspiring tight-lipped smile.

Only now the dreaded Code light came on, and wouldn't go off.

Those who are owners of Alfa Romeos know all about the dreaded Code light. It's the light on the dashboard that indicates that the engine immobilizer is active. When the immobilizer is active, the car is, in a word, immobile. It prevents the spark plugs from firing (or something equally technical and opaque), thus preventing the engine from working, which makes it hard to maneuver the car unless you have some helpful souls around to push, or one of those big Clydesdale cart horses that you never seem to see around any more.

Normally, the Code light would indicate that the ECU (Electronic Control Unit) was not communicating with the gizmo that reads the code stored in a chip in the car key; or that the wrong key was put in the ignition; or that there is a full moon, or a new moon, or sunspots; or the day is either Wednesday, Sunday, or one of the other days.

However, as I discovered after hours of online research, in any of those events the fuel injection fault lamp should also be lit. Mine wasn't.

So therefore the issue wasn't anything to do with the key/code system per se; rather, I rather cleverly deduced, it had to be something to do with the ECU. Either the ECU was utterly kaput, or it somehow wasn't getting power, which would mean it couldn't communicate with the key code gizmo, which means it couldn't confirm that the right key was twisted in the ignition, which means it stays immobile.

A lot more research on the net led to me the discovery of relays. These, for the uninitiated, are little boxes that act as switches. They can make a lamp blink, a horn sound, an ABS system function, a car owner rend his hair and howl with frustration, and various other tasks. Generally a very simple device. Also, they are spread all throughout the innards of the automobile. I found a bunch in the trunk, various ones scattered around the fusebox, and numerous little groupings distributed randomly around the engine bay.

Eventually I found an entry in a manual that identified the specific grouping of relays that I deemed most likely to be related to the Code fault. This is a little group of four tucked beneath a plastic cover near the back of the engine bay. One of them feeds the ECU - apparently (again from reading around here and there) the one with a diagonal red stripe on it.

I drove another car merrily to the nearest supplier, bought a basic off-the-shelf relay with more or less the correct voltage and amperage, yanked out the red-stripe relay, popped in the new one, and plonked myself back into the driver's seat expecting to relive the same symptoms with which I'd been plagued for the preceding months.

Instead, the various dashboard lights blinked on and off precisely the way they're supposed to. Moments after that, the car started like a charm.

I sat for quite a few seconds experiencing something I can only describe as stunned disbelief. I was the last one I would have expected to be able to correctly diagnose and correct a failure of this (or, in fact, any) kind. Wow.

I took the little beasty out for a spin, and she purred like a contented cougar throughout. Wow again.

However, I have one remaining little niggling worry. The ABS warning light is lit on the dash. I'm pretty sure it wasn't on earlier. The brakes work fine without the ABS, but that's a major safety flaw in the event of a catastrophic situation.

My guess is that the error is due to the off-the-shelf relay I stuck in in place of the special red stripe ECU relay. The proper relay probably has some other feature that is required in order for the ABS system to work properly.

But who cares? At least I know the whole problem was due to a single relay fault. The off-the-shelf replacement cost the equivalent of about $5. The fancy proper one probably won't be more than $30.

And my beast is purring once again.

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